Goodbye Grandma Evelyn

[vervet_monkey]

My Grandma Evelyn died on Tuesday morning of a brain tumour

I didn't know her as well as maybe I should. We grew up 3 hours away and have a big family on that side, so I never spent any time alone with her, there we always other people around, we'd be off playing with cousins and making a nuisance of ourselves. But I still have many many fond memories of her. You couldn't go there without eating at least your weight in cakes, and probably bringing twice that home with you. Butterfly cakes in particular, that no one else could ever make better. No matter what I try my buttercream never quite tasted the same. Roast dinner, that as a child I hated, except for the potatoes and yorkshire pudding, another thing she seemed to have a secret way of making that was just perfect. Followed by apple crumble. 

I remember running around the huge garden. The house used to be home to Grandma, Grandad, my 4 Aunts, Uncle and my Dad. It has 3 bedrooms, all of them tiny, and one bathroom. Yet they still had dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters and any other pet you can think of. The garden was amazing though. It ran up to the woods at the back, and we were never allowed far in, but it was still really exciting. And a tall old washing line that used to fascinate me, watching Grandma pull it all down and hoist it back up again. The dining room was shut off, I think I only ever went in their at Aunties (Grandma's sister's) funeral. Meals were always eaten at the old table in the living room. There was a tiny chair in the living room too, that was made for Dad by his sisters husband when he was little. We used to go strawberry picking, and blackberries from the garden. There was a greenhouse that Grandma used to grow vegetables in. And one year we went to the beach. It was all pebbles and it was cold and raining, but we went anyway. 

 

When we stayed over we got to sleep in bunk beds, with curtains round them so they were like little dens. And we had hot water bottles, with that familiar rubber smell. There were lots of toys, all a bit broken and battered, but still exciting. On Sunday morning I'd go to church with her. Not because I wanted to go to church, but because I liked being made a fuss of. One year we went on Easter Sunday and I had to be a sheep stuck at the back of the church, with one of the bigger boys coming to rescue me and take me to the front. 

 

Every year up until I was 18 I'd get a card, always one of the real 'old people' cards, with flowers or something on the front. And there would always be £5 inside, Christmas and Birthday. And somehow, even though presents from Mum's parents were always bigger and more expensive, I always knew that the £5 was worth as much. Between us all there must always have been at least 50 of us under 18, it was a lot of money, especially for her. We always got a box of biscuits on Christmas day too, and the first thing to do on Christmas morning was to work out which one it was and open it first, so we could work our way through it over the course of the morning.

 

When I got older and started travelling I'd always bring my photos back to show her. She's only left the UK once, and that was to fly to Australia to see my Aunt. But I'd sit on the arm of her chair and tell her about where I'd been and what I'd been doing. Generally competing stories with my Aunt, but that's OK, Grandma would always listen to me. We'd go out to dinner and laugh and joke. I remember teasing Grandma as she scraped her ice cream bowl dry, asking if she wanted to lick it clean too.

 

She was a loving women, with a huge family yet she never over looked one of. Dad is a little bit her favourite, as much as parents are allowed to have one. He's the youngest so spent the most time at home alone with them. His upbringing wasn't perfect, but I know he knew he was loved, and that Grandma was proud of him. We all always felt loved and will miss her very much.

 

 

I'm doing OK. Little bit wobbley, but over all coping. Calling Dad quite often, I worry about him. But we had a long talk about her this evening. He called me at 3am when she died and cried down the phone, which was hard to hear. I've only seen him cry once before and that was at his brothers funeral. He refused to leave her too, when she died, until the funeral directors took her away. Him and my two cousins sat with her for hours. This is after spending the previous 3 days by her bedside. The hardest thing for me is being in Southampton, not there with him.

 

Love you Grandma, miss you x

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stolendreams_/]

I'm so sorry hun
*massive hugs*

Thinking of you and your Dad and all the rest of the family. As always call me anytime you need or want to.
Love you <3

[vervet-monkey.livejournal.com]

Thanks girly.

I am OK, possibly because I don't have enough room in my head to process it properly. The funeral is right in the middle of exams though, so 3 exams and a funeral in 4 days, I might have to call you for a distraction.

Love you too x

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stolendreams_/]

Anytime darling. Just call or text or shout really loudly.

<3

[tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com]

*hugs* She sounds like a lovely human being. My heart goes out to you and your family.

[vervet-monkey.livejournal.com]

Thank you

She really was. How she remembered everything about us all I'll never know. I can't remember half my relatives names, yet even just before she died she was asking about everyone.

[xbringbacklovex.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman and touched you all greatly. Losing a loved one is always hard, but when it gets really tough, focus on all those fond memories and celebrating all the good in her life. I know that helps me.

I hope you're all okay, you and your family.

[vervet-monkey.livejournal.com]

Thank you

There are literally hundreds of us, in a way I'm kind of looking forward to getting together with all the cousins to talk about her. We span in age from mid-40's to 15 (Then the next generation too!), so there's a lot of memories between us. And no way she will ever be forgotten.

[lijago.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma's passing, sounds like she was a wonderful woman who was full of love, and loved by many. And sounds like you have many wonderful memories of her, cherish them :)
Thinking of you, your Dad, and the rest of the family.
RIP.
xoxox

[vervet-monkey.livejournal.com]

Thank you :). Our family might have its arguments but Grandma definitely pulled us all together.