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Uncle Russel
Apr. 25th, 2009 05:46 pmMy uncle died last week, I haven't really mentioned it because although I do remember him growing up, he used to own a pub with a big dog and a pig. (That is pretty much the extent of my memory) I haven't seen him in years and tbh don't actually feel that close to that side of the family. They're not fond of mum at all, not in a nasty way, but they make her, and by extension me and Lewis, feel kind of awkward. Just lots of pointed comments and looks.
As a result I didn't really feel that much when Mum said he'd died. He was ill for a long time, and had been told he was going to die many times, but always proved them wrong. He does have 2 small children (about 10 and 12 actually), who are generally lovely when i've seen them, so it does break my heart slgihtly to think that they have lost there father. I didn't thinmk dad was that close to him. Dad is the youngest of 6, and I think Russel was 2nd, so there were 3 children between them. But at the same time they did have 4 sisters, so i suppose there must have been some connection between the 2 boys. dad did go and see him while he was ill, but went to work the day after he'd died. He's never that good at showing emotion so it is kind of hard to work out what he's feeling anyways.
But I've just got off the phone to Dad, originally to tell him that I wasn't going to the funeral, as I have a tutor that day. But he asked me to go with him. Now normally for this kind of thing me and lewis are given complete freedom to make our own descisions, neither parent will tell us what they think and force us to decide for ourselves. So the fact that although I'd said I wasn't going he asked me too must mean he is in need of more support than I'd realised. And it kind of frustrates me that I don't know how too. Although our family is very open, we talk to each other alot, there is also very much a feeling of, 'Get on with it'. Whatever happens we were always expected to go to school/work and get everything finished. Its OK to be sad or whatever, but you're not allowed to sit around and dwell. If you can do something about it, do it, if you can't, get on with life. While its certainly a lesson I learnt (Despite a small lapse into 'the world hates me', but I was a teenager!) it makes life diffucult to know what I can do for dad, other than be there.
As a result I didn't really feel that much when Mum said he'd died. He was ill for a long time, and had been told he was going to die many times, but always proved them wrong. He does have 2 small children (about 10 and 12 actually), who are generally lovely when i've seen them, so it does break my heart slgihtly to think that they have lost there father. I didn't thinmk dad was that close to him. Dad is the youngest of 6, and I think Russel was 2nd, so there were 3 children between them. But at the same time they did have 4 sisters, so i suppose there must have been some connection between the 2 boys. dad did go and see him while he was ill, but went to work the day after he'd died. He's never that good at showing emotion so it is kind of hard to work out what he's feeling anyways.
But I've just got off the phone to Dad, originally to tell him that I wasn't going to the funeral, as I have a tutor that day. But he asked me to go with him. Now normally for this kind of thing me and lewis are given complete freedom to make our own descisions, neither parent will tell us what they think and force us to decide for ourselves. So the fact that although I'd said I wasn't going he asked me too must mean he is in need of more support than I'd realised. And it kind of frustrates me that I don't know how too. Although our family is very open, we talk to each other alot, there is also very much a feeling of, 'Get on with it'. Whatever happens we were always expected to go to school/work and get everything finished. Its OK to be sad or whatever, but you're not allowed to sit around and dwell. If you can do something about it, do it, if you can't, get on with life. While its certainly a lesson I learnt (Despite a small lapse into 'the world hates me', but I was a teenager!) it makes life diffucult to know what I can do for dad, other than be there.
